Family...thatwordisjustsodistanttome.Idon'treallyknowwhattowriteonhere...but,IthinkIamjustgoingtowritedownhowIfeelrightnowandmaybeIcanfeelbetterlater.Ihate,hate,absolutelydespisesmyparents.Theyareverystubborn,theydon'tcareaboutmyfeelings,theydon'tdoanythingtomakemefeelbetter.Yesterdaywasmybirthday.Iwashappyandlookingforwardtoit.ButmybigassmomkeptremindingmethingsIdon'twanttothinkabout."Youhavetoreadmorebooks!","Youhavetoreadmorenon-fictionsoyouareassmartasyoursister!","Youaresolazy!Youbeinglazywillonlykilleverysinglegoodqualityyouhave!".Iknowalotofpeoplemightnotrelatewithme...thereisnotalotofpersonalinformationIwantedtoputonhere,butIreally,really,reallyhatemymomanddad.Whatevermymomsays,mydadsupportsit.Theydon'tcareaboutmyfeelingsatall.theydon'tstandinmypointofview...theydon'tunderstandwhatIamsaying.Iknowperfectparentsdon'texist,andthatIshouldn'texpectmuch...butyouknowwhat?Perfectparentdoesexist...peoplejustdon'tthinkaboutbecomingone.Iamgoingtobeaperfectparent.Aperfectparentbasedontrust,communication,relationships,andmostimportantly,standinginyourchild'spointofview.IHATEHOWNONEOFMYPARENTSDIDANY,ANYOFTHEM.Ijustfeelso...broken.Ican'ttellmysisteraboutanyofthisshitbecausesheisthegoldenchildinthefamily.Ican'ttellmyfriendsaboutanyofthisshitbecausenoneoftheshittheytellmeisgoingtohelpandmakemefeelbettersincetheydon'tunderstand.Ican'ttellanytherapistssinceIdon'thaveanytherapists.IhavetoldthemImighthavedep ssionbuttheythinkIamjustsaycrap.Likewhatthefuck??Myfeelingsrightnowarereallyjumbledup.Ijustreallywanttodierightnow.Maybedyingwillhelpmefeelsomuchbetter?MaybeafterIdiedtheywillfeelallthefrustrationandthepainIamfeelingrightnow?MaybeafterIdied,Iwon'tfeelanything.AndIwon'thaveanything.IfIdon'thaveanything,Ican'tlooseanything.Maybemybirthdayshouldn'tbecelebratedsincemyexistenceisnolongerimportant...

porqueteodio,túnomeamasyyonoteamo.Noteimportacómomesiento,ynopensarásdesdemipuntodevista.Sólomeharíaspensarentuszapatos.Tútambiéneresterco,yyotambién.Peronopiensasenloquehubieraspensadocuandoteniasmiedad.Poresotequiero.mehacesperderalcarafrentealosextraños.¿Porquédeberíadejarte?